I'm sure everyone and there mother is starting with new years resolutions and goals; setting things up for the new year. my goals for this year are pretty simple.
Not have the same feeling that I'm feeling now around the same time next year. I've had this overwhelming sense of fear for the last two days. Im still afraid of losing my house and becoming homeless. I know I shouldn't worry about these things since I've been working hard to keep that fear from happening. But it doesn't stop the emotions from overtaking me. I know it's all in my mind so I have to learn to accept it and deal with it. Thats another goal I've set for myself. I'm also going to Continue my Therapy with Ivan. He's helped me out in so many ways.
Now to focus on good news..things that make thankful that I'm still breathing.
I cried last night at the stroke of midnight kissing The man whom I feel that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. Tony Encarnacion.
He's made me very happy..I was ready to give up on love and thats when he appeared. For the entire summer we dated and I was waiting for the magic to wear off..I was ready to wait and have him run away in fear cause I was hiv+..but he didn't. we took things very slowly..and it's become 7 months of bless and counting. He's made me face a lot of my fears of responsibility.. I never really started thinking of taking care of someone beside me. Making long term plans; thinking of children. I never wanted kids. but with him..I feel as if I could mangage kids with him.
I started thinking about my future and what that might really in tell.
I've been living on my own now for a solid year. My mothers been living in a nursing home. My brother has been giving me a wide birth. perhaps I'll work on that relationship with him..or maybe not.
My biggest goal is to not be broke this year..to finally work on saving money and building up a saving account.. This year will be an interesting one. My friendship with Anthony Marini has become stronger. My friendship with Chris Avila is getting..well it's getting..My other friendships with all my friends are just as strong as always.
perhaps this year..I may work on my faith. This year will be the year of intrigue.
